Story of My Life, A Perspective from Herman | Guest Contributor
As a man in the later chapters of life, I often find myself amused—sometimes even baffled—by the number of women who cross my path pretending to be something they’re not.
Fake. Performative. Opportunistic.
They show up with charm, sweet smiles, and smooth conversation. At first, it feels like there might be a genuine connection. But somewhere along the way—sometimes very early on—it becomes painfully clear:
If there’s nothing to gain, there’s no point in staying.
No money? No meaning.
I’ve come to realize that for many women today, there's a deep desire for emotional connection—but only if it comes wrapped in financial benefit.
No romance without finance.
To me, that borders dangerously close to prostitution—and I don’t say that lightly. I’m not judging anyone’s hustle, but I can’t ignore the growing frustration that the only value some women seem to see in a man… is in what he can provide.
Why is that?
Is it desperation?
Survival?
Entitlement?
Or have the lines between love and transaction become too blurred?
Has it really become normal to offer companionship in exchange for money, even when there’s no real friendship, no shared history, no emotional investment?
Look, I understand hard times. I know life isn’t always kind. I don’t have a problem with a woman asking for help. But it’s the expectation—the assumption—that throws me.
The demand for support before there’s even been time to build something real.
Can a man not offer emotional, spiritual, intellectual—or even sexual—connection without feeling like he has to swipe a card first?
Are we truly at a place where intimacy must come with a price tag?
Here’s what I believe:
Ladies, be strong. Be grounded. Be self-sufficient. Build your own life. Carry your own load. If a man comes along who wants to support you, accept it with grace—but don’t make his pocket the condition for his presence.
Don’t lose your power chasing someone else’s wallet.
A good man doesn’t just want to spend—he wants to build. He wants partnership, not pressure.
And to be fair—this goes for the men too. Don’t show up looking for a second mother, expecting to be fed, clothed, comforted, and funded while bringing little to the table. Do better. Be better. On both sides.
But today, I just needed to get this off my chest.
This is real for a lot of men like me—men tired of being treated like a bank account with a heartbeat.
A Note from the Blog Editor
This entry comes from Herman, a friend of the blog. His words are raw, honest, and unapologetically personal. You may not agree with everything, but you may know a man who feels the same way.
If you do, take a moment. Listen deeper.
And if you’ve thoughts, please share them in the comments. Let’s talk about it.
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