My Crush, His Touch, A Beginning | By Roselyn A. St Claire

Confession, Contact… Chemistry” 

It started with a bold confession, a soft touch, and a phone call I’ll never forget. I wasn’t expecting much—just a smile, maybe a new friend. But that night at The Look Out, I unknowingly stepped into a story I haven’t been able to walk away from since.

                                                                                     Image by SoraAI

The weekend of my birthday, I made plans with my usual crew to head up to The Look Out for some live band music, a few drinks, and good vibes. It was the perfect spot for everything we needed—food, fun, and a mixed crowd of people just out to dance and let loose on a Sunday night.

That night, my group was classic: three of my gay friends, three of my lesbian friends, and me—the usual crew. Although a few members couldn't make it, the energy was still high as we stood right at the front, soaking up the live music. We had been there for a few songs when my eyes fell on a figure across the dance floor.

Edward H. Lowe.

A man I’d admired from a distance for years.

We had crossed paths before—briefly and without any significant interaction—but my crush on him was real. When I spotted him in the crowd, something changed within me. I leaned over to Cleo, who was standing right next to me and always seemed to have the inside scoop, and whispered, “I want to go over and say hello to Edward Lowe.”

Cleo flashed a knowing smile. "Go for it," he said. Then, casually—almost as an afterthought—he added, "However, he's involved."

That should have been the warning sign. Perhaps it was, but it didn't stop me. The truth is, I had no ulterior motives; I wasn't trying to steal anyone's partner. I just wanted to be bold and express my feelings. I hoped to make a grown man smile. What was the worst that could happen?

I went ahead and did it.

I made my way through the crowd, heart fluttering, keeping Edward in my line of sight the whole time. When I reached him, I introduced myself.

“Hi, Mr. Lowe, my name is Roselyn St. Claire, and I’ve had a crush on you for quite a while now. Tonight, I decided that I should tell you.”

His face lit up with a big, genuine smile. He looked surprised but pleasantly so. I don’t remember if I gave him my number or if he asked for it. It’s a blur now. But after a quick exchange, I turned and made my way back to my group, proud of myself for having the courage to say it out loud.

A little while later, as he was leaving, I felt a gentle hand brush against my back—just the lightest touch grazing the skin exposed by my sleeveless cotton dress. It wasn’t bold or inappropriate, just enough to catch my breath. I turned, and there he was, smiling, repeating my full name and number back to me like a secret he intended to keep. That touch was the first of many, lingering all the way home.

Later that night, my phone lit up with a message from Edward.

“Good night, It was a pleasure meeting you earlier. 

Please confirm receipt of this message. Is your name spelled with a 'y' or an 'i' ? 

Are you able to take a call now?”

I confirmed. I responded. And I said yes to his call.

And just like that, with a few polite questions and his voice in my ear, the whirlwind began.

Reflecting on that time, it was a moment of pure innocence—beautifully and boldly innocent. I wasn't attempting to change either his life or mine. I didn't expect anything beyond that brief interaction; I simply wanted to share my truth. However, the universe has a peculiar way of opening doors when you least expect it. That single encounter led to many more, and that man, Edward Lowe, became much more to me than just a crush.

He became... an addiction

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Sometimes all it takes is one bold moment—a confession whispered across a dance floor, a brush of skin, a voice on the other end of a late-night call—to shift the course of everything. I didn’t plan to fall into anything with him. I only wanted to tell the truth. But that truth unraveled into something magnetic. Something I still can’t quite walk away from.

So maybe it started as a crush.
But it’s what came after—the chemistry, the quiet moments, the craving to be in his space—that keeps the story alive.